RTT

From: Scarlet - I like turtles #6151
Date: 04/01/26 @ 2:43 AM

Ok everyone let's hear your April fools jokes.
Mine are:
googly eyes on all the food
Mouse on the floor aaaaaa!!!! (It's a computer mouse)
Hole punch holes on top of the cieling fan
Bowls stacked on top of each other on a hard floor with a quarter glued to the floor
Calling them and asking why they called me.
A big ol jar of change just laid out flat on the hard floor.
Kool-aid in the shower head
And of course, electrical tape around the spray handle on the kitchen sink.

From: chobbler - - - - - - billy bumpkin here - #6152
Date: 04/01/26 @ 3:01 AM

I choose one serf to execute.

From: haze - is having a bad day #6153
Date: 04/01/26 @ 3:14 AM

I put a strip of Gorilla Tape® on my own backcrack as a real shocker to wake up to.
What a rush. My name is Larry Lester. I had an awakening that day in 1985.

From: have patience - weeblin' and wobblin' goddammi #6154
Date: 04/01/26 @ 3:28 AM

i give out AOL cds

From: butterknife - calcium depraved #6155
Date: 04/01/26 @ 3:57 AM

chobbler said:

I choose one serf to execute.

u don't even serf u fkn poser lol

From: haze - is having a bad day #6156
Date: 04/01/26 @ 5:18 AM

Serfin USA used to be a REAL big HIT back in Fridays.

From: butterknife - calcium depraved #6157
Date: 04/01/26 @ 5:36 AM

I think he's trying to tell us something

SUSA REAL HIT F

HEAL FRUIT ASS

i fkn knew it

From: haze - is having a bad day #6158
Date: 04/01/26 @ 6:09 AM

But I like didn't like do nothing.

From: ghoast - is Pope of Chili town #6159
Date: 04/01/26 @ 11:31 AM

From: Redboxer #6160
Date: 04/01/26 @ 12:09 PM

What the fuck is that

From: sanka #6161
Date: 04/01/26 @ 12:10 PM

Looks like a fuckin tent Captain.

From: Redboxer #6162
Date: 04/01/26 @ 12:13 PM

It looks like the side of a minivan.

From: Bamboozled - Babe #6163
Date: 04/01/26 @ 12:19 PM

Where are the wheels?

From: Bamboozled - Babe #6164
Date: 04/01/26 @ 12:19 PM

Shuttle day today
The targeted liftoff time is 6:24 PM EDT.
Where are you watching this momentous event

From: Redboxer #6165
Date: 04/01/26 @ 12:31 PM

Its just part of the side, obviously.

From: Bamboozled - Babe #6166
Date: 04/01/26 @ 12:55 PM

Trump press announcement today
The targeted prime time is 9 PM EDT
Where are you watching this momentous event

From: ghoast - is Pope of Chili town #6167
Date: 04/01/26 @ 12:59 PM

Scan didn’t deal with the front porch roof or whatever they call it.

From: slimwhitem #6168
Date: 04/01/26 @ 1:39 PM

have you all thought about what you’re gonna do when i replace you all with ai?

From: Redboxer #6169
Date: 04/01/26 @ 1:53 PM

Probably clog your toilet.

From: Monkopotamus #6170
Date: 04/01/26 @ 1:54 PM

From: Sepharo #6171
Date: 04/01/26 @ 5:51 PM

sanka scanned ghoast's tent?

From: ghoast - is Pope of Chili town #6172
Date: 04/01/26 @ 6:38 PM

Trying to act like I camp in the Goodyear blimp. I mean sure I could stand to lose some pounds

From: Bamboozled - Babe #6173
Date: 04/01/26 @ 7:37 PM

goddamn the astronauts are already strapped into their seats and doors are closing now.
Launch isn't for another 2 hrs 48 mins away.
They can't go to the washroom for nervous shits

From: Bamboozled - Babe #6174
Date: 04/01/26 @ 7:43 PM

oh maybe they're wearing adult diapers

From: slimwhitem #6175
Date: 04/01/26 @ 7:53 PM

that would be me

"fuck, im so nervous, i just need one more habanero steak burrito and large coffee before blast off"

From: sanka #6176
Date: 04/01/26 @ 8:36 PM

A good BK Whopper is probably the best burg. You can't go to a normal shitty BK though. You have to go to a brand new BK in a richer area. That's a good burg.

From: sanka #6177
Date: 04/01/26 @ 8:38 PM

BK has the greatest discrepancy between "good burg" and "I'm going to get stabbed here. Not shot, stabbed"

From: butterknife - calcium depraved #6178
Date: 04/01/26 @ 8:38 PM

lol wrong

From: butterknife - calcium depraved #6179
Date: 04/01/26 @ 8:39 PM

im a bk expert so don't even try

From: bridbran - watch for notdeer #6180
Date: 04/01/26 @ 9:14 PM

there's a bar the pedicab crew used to go to in se portland that has reviews like "they have free shuffleboard and a guy got stabbed here last time we went"

From: Space Cat - please delete this account #6181
Date: 04/01/26 @ 9:16 PM

free shuffleboard, you say?

From: bridbran - watch for notdeer #6182
Date: 04/01/26 @ 9:18 PM

I'm sure he did something to deserve it. Just like, don't need stabbin' and enjoy the shuffleboard

From: sanka #6183
Date: 04/01/26 @ 9:21 PM

When I lived in San Antonio I used to go to a lot of pick and pull auto parts places for work. Always on the south side. Those junk yard guys used to take me out to lunch in a LOT of places to get stabbed. I barely spoke Spanish, and they barely spkoe english. We all spoke taco and cerveza though.

From: Space Cat - please delete this account #6184
Date: 04/01/26 @ 9:23 PM

what kind of dum(b)ass chooses getting stabbed over free shuffleboard

From: slimwhitem #6185
Date: 04/01/26 @ 9:27 PM

it didn't used to be free, shuffleboard guy used to charge a dollar a shot

guess who got stabbed? the shuffleboard guy

its free now

From: Space Cat - please delete this account #6186
Date: 04/01/26 @ 9:34 PM

he did something to deserve it

as the prophecy told

From: Space Cat - please delete this account #6187
Date: 04/01/26 @ 9:36 PM

The trash didn't get picked up in the neighborhood today. It it doesn't happen by 5:00 there are going to be some VERY mad, old, honkeys in the fb group.

From: Space Cat - please delete this account #6188
Date: 04/01/26 @ 9:43 PM

I got an email from a local pizza place about their improved rewards points program. I didn't know there was a program to begin with, but I read the email explaining it anyway, and this was in there:

Where Did My Points & Rewards Go:
We've reset your points and rewards to give you a fresh start with our updated loyalty program. We're excited for you to begin earning new rewards right away!

So I guess everybody's points got trashed lmfo

From: bridbran - watch for notdeer #6189
Date: 04/01/26 @ 10:28 PM

What about poince

From: derpyakisan - Some Guy On The Internet #6190
Date: 04/01/26 @ 10:34 PM

"We've reset your points and rewards to give you a fresh start with our updated loyalty program. We're excited for you to begin earning new rewards right away!"

Translated:

"Our AI intern trashed the database. Start over losers."

From: sanka #6191
Date: 04/01/26 @ 10:39 PM

There was a time in my life that all my pizza points getting deleted would have been devastating. I couldn't possibly care less nowadays though.

From: haze - is having a bad day #6192
Date: 04/01/26 @ 10:56 PM

I'm thinking of trying Lit'l Smokies/sardine sandwiches for dinnert.

From: sanka #6193
Date: 04/01/26 @ 10:58 PM

I am so addicted to tinned fish it's ridiculous.

From: haze - is having a bad day #6194
Date: 04/01/26 @ 11:04 PM

I crave it, get it and am disappointed. I miss the fancy tuna I used to get in Seattle.

From: sanka #6195
Date: 04/01/26 @ 11:15 PM

Anchovie fillets, kipper snacks, sardines, smoked mackerel, spicy tuna all of it, I want it all.

From: sanka #6196
Date: 04/01/26 @ 11:21 PM

It's how I know I've officially become an old man.

From: Redboxer #6197
Date: 04/01/26 @ 11:22 PM

Are you making sandwiches of them?

From: sanka #6198
Date: 04/01/26 @ 11:30 PM

I aint got time for that. Though I have been thinking of dropping them in a pan and frying them up, they all come in olive oil anyway.

From: Space Cat - please delete this account #6199
Date: 04/01/26 @ 11:30 PM

Trash ran. I've been spared the honkey outrage.

From: bridbran - watch for notdeer #6200
Date: 04/01/26 @ 11:57 PM

I like kippered herring. C fud snax